May God Bless You Impatiently

May 22, 2010 at 11:26 pm Leave a comment

From: Miss Tessy

Hello.

I am very happy to meet you, compliments of the day!

My name is Miss Tessy, I’m looking for a person of trust and confidence, and I know this email will find you in good health and also surprise but God has his own way of bringing people together.I was moved to write to you and also seek his advice that I know it helps me overcome my present situation, I’m currently single and looking for a reliable and God fearing person. My dear, In your free time, which can please write me back so I can explain more about me, my data, my photos and my purpose of writing to you. Please do not overlook a humble heart and solitary quest for love. A good friendship is the foundation to build on other things in the future. May God bless you impatiently waiting for me to read you.

Tessy

From: CLT

Miss Tessy!

I’m so glad this email came my way! Its rays of somewhat incoherent sunshine were just what I needed on a day like today! Did you ever notice how slow time goes when you’ve run out of Internet to read and there’s still 4 hours left on your shift? Ghastly!

Thank you for inquiring about my health. It is in good shape and I still have the “Polyp Free Since ’73” sticker from my proctologist’s office to prove it. Hallelujah!

You and I are of a kind, Miss Tessy. I too am looking for a woman with the “fear of God” in her, preferably one that is also “clean,” “reliable” and “low-milage.” And I’m sure you will be thrilled to know that I wholeheartedly believe in the sanctity of marriage, as my current marriage of 7+ years will surely bear out. Marriage is a wonderful experience, and if my math is correct, beginning a second, concurrent marriage would make life easily twice as wonderful!

We could give both marriages a shot for a couple of years before deciding which betrothal seems more “sanctified” or “less litigious.” I’m sure with the proper outlook we could persuade even the stiffest of upper lips to concede that a slew of wonderful marriages is the only way to go!

Here’s a little info on me:

Male
Medium Height
Medium Build
No distinguishing features or tattoos

I’m still in the same shape that I was in high school, where my general nondescriptness contributed greatly to my being voted “Most Likely” for two years running!

But enough small talk. I can’t wait to set this in motion and get to know the real you! As the notorious poet “Biggie” (Hey, that’s MY high school nickname! LOL!) Smalls once opined: “Honeys want to chat/But all we want to know is where the party at.”

Asthmatically awaiting your response,
CLT

Well. I’ll just grab my inhaler and sit a spell.

-CLT

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Entry filed under: Invocations, Unwarranted Compliments. Tags: , , , , , , .

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